I've discovered two shocking truths about Margaret Atwood:
1. She's a werewolf.
2. She likes to pop balloons at children's birthday parties.
Allow me to present my evidence.
Margaret Atwood is a werewolf. Only a werewolf could possibly be this preoccupied with the moon.
Exhibit A: "Outside, the moon is fossil..." - from "The Bus To Alliston, Ontario"
Exhibit B: "...the moon's last quarter..." - from "The Red Shirt"
Exhibit C: "...with its beige moon as damp as a mushroom..." - from "Night Poem"
Exhibit D: "...this is an O/ or a moon..." - from "You Begin"
Exhibit E: "a moon, crumpled papers, a coin..." - from "True Stories"
Exhibit F: "...in and out with the moon." - from "Landcrab II"
And while you can probably find as many poems in this collection with "sun" and "stars" references I believe these to be cover-ups for her werewolfishness (So Scott Thompson, I suggest you keep a silver bullet handy)- and plus, I thought calling her a "werewolf" would be funnier than calling her an "astronomer".
Margaret Atwood likes to pop balloons at children's birthday parties. Okay, I lack as much evidence for this one. But I'll act as witness and prosecutor in my first ever bad script for a stupid courtroom drama:
Prosecutor: You say Madge (points to a picture of Ms. Atwood- not Madonna) likes to pop balloons, you've actually witnessed this?
Witness: Well, no but I believe she's capable.
Prosecutor: That's a pretty shocking claim, do you have something to base this assumption on?
Witness: Yes. A dream.
Defense Attorney: Objection your honour! This can hardly be permitted as proof!
Judge: For the sake of the bad script for a stupid courtroom drama, I'm going to allow it.
Prosecutor: A dream? Yours or hers?
Witness: A poem of hers about a dream- "Flying Inside Your Own Body".
Prosecutor: Ah yes, that poem. Would you be so kind as to read the first verse?
Witness proceeds to recite the first verse.
Prosecutor: Nothing bad about that. How do you feel about this verse?
Witness: I was pleasantly taken aback.
Prosecutor: How so?
Witness: Well, most of these poems weren't exactly cheerful- I wasn't expecting something so hopeful and well, uplifting.
Prosecutor: Okay, so now could you read the second verse for the jury?
Witness proceeds to recite the second verse and breaks down into tears at the end.
Prosecutor: Wow, that does sound like someone who'd pop a child's balloon.
Defense Attorney: Objection your honour!
....
Okay, so now that I've wasted your time with a bad script of a stupid courtroom drama, I'll conclude by adding that "Night Poem" is a great poem for Halloween- worthy of Poe. And "A Red Shirt" is pleasant- it seems to be mocking herself for dwelling on the gloom- and this is a great respite from the rest of the collection.
3 comments:
Don't forget The Animals in That Country. In that poem she suggests that animals have human faces and even goes so far as to claim a knowledge of wolf conversation.
I smell a thesis in this somewhere.
I smell something.
Yeah? That's what most thesis smell like.
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