Thursday, July 20, 2006

Reader's Diary #130- Nancy Cartwright: My Life As A 10-Year-Old Boy (FINISHED!)

I said earlier that a major problem with autobiographies is the bias. In Cartwright's case the bias isn't just for herself, but pretty much for all celebrities.
I wasn't looking for her to "dish the dirt" or anything, but I wasn't expecting the butt-kissing of Hollywood alumni either. Two cases in particular which were particularly sickening- Elizabeth Taylor and Kirk Douglas.
Taylor, of course, was the voice of Maggie Simpson as she uttered her first word, "daddy." That's it, Taylor's historic Simpson's moment. For this hard day's work punched by her highness, she walks in wearing a feather boa, accompanied by a full entourage, token yippy dog, and ignoring everyone. She rudely ad-libs her line as "F- You, Daddy," which is accepted graciously and later edited of course, to drop the foul language. Cartwright relates this story as if this is charming! As if this is why we should all love the wonder that is Liz Taylor! PUKE!
Then Kirk Douglas. He was the voice of the man that claimed to have originated Itchy and Scratchy, Chester Lampwick. He's a complete ass from the get go, throwing his headset down crankily and quipping, "I'm not wearing these things, they hurt my ears." After Nancy "saves the day" by finding a way to accommodate this d--khead, he says, "I'm only giving you two takes then I'm out of here!" After which he screws up twice, by misreading "changed" as "charged". Charming and brilliant.
But since I don't want to end on a sour note, I would like to say that I've enjoyed many celebrity cameos on the Simpsons over the years. My favourite 10 (in no particular order) are:
1. Kelsey Grammer (as Sideshow Bob, of course)
2. Phil Hartman (those he's played other characters, I liked him best for Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz)
3. Michelle Pfieffer (as Mindy)
4. Beverly D'Angelo (as Lurleen Lumpkin)
5. Ian McKellen (as himself)
6. Stan Lee (as himself)
7. NSync (as themselves- don't hold them against me, yes I think they suck as a band, but their stint on the Simpsons was pretty funny)
8. Mel Gibson (as himself)
9. Pierce Brosnan (as a take on HAL)
10. Mick Jagger and Keith Richards (as themselves)
And who might your favourite cameos be?


Barbara Bruederlin said...

That is a tough one! I completely agree about Kelsey Grammar - he is brilliant as Sideshow Bob. Weird Al Yankovitch was pretty great too when he sang the little ditty about Homer and Marge.
Hmmm, need to think some more...

John Mutford said...

Hah! I had forgotten about Wierd Al's appearance. But you're right, that was pretty funny? Have you heard his take on James Blunt's "You're Beautiful"? He has it as a free mp3 on his site. It's jeuvenile yes, but pure Yankovich! The opening is hilarious.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You're pitiful - that's great! Guy's amazing!

You know who else I liked in their Simpsons' cameo? REM. "That's not the REM way, Michael"

John Mutford said...

Yeah, it's always best when people aren't afraid to poke fun at themselves.