Friday, July 14, 2006

Writer's Diary #1- Waves (First Draft)

At six in the morning
you are awake
and the day comes from you
in sparkling dust-
your hope spread over the beach like
a salt blanket on the smooth stones.
You turn it back gently
as if rousing a child for a trip.

At six in the evening
you are more awake
and you slam the day on the table,
sending glasses off
to shatter as you seeth.
Noon was your gamble,
your stakes were high-
and you lost.
Leaving the stones


Barbara Bruederlin said...

That's very powerful. The change in emotions between the two stansas is almost startling.

I love "salt blanket on the smooth stones".

John Mutford said...

Thanks Barbara,
I wanted a big switch in mood. The Atlantic does that amazingly well, and it often affects the moods of those of us around it in the same way. I was hoping to capture some of that. Though this is a first draft- I wonder how unrecognizable it will be by the time I'm finished!