Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Writer's Diary #16- When Creation Kills (Rough Draft)

When Creation Kills

“Everything we write/ will be used against us.”
-Adrienne Rich (North American Time)

“1.0 Language is like a hole for the future.”
-Christopher Dewdney (Language)

On the day they killed God, no
Virgin Mary shed tears
And while Bibles were burned, no
Angels could be heard weeping.
They went to work that day.
As did I.

On the day they killed humans, no
President made a final speech
And while bodies lay rotting in the sun, no
Computer sent spam email
Subject: “Party at my house”
All are welcome.

On the day they killed my poem
No one was left to butcher
Its sorry carcass.

6 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh the poor poem! Nobody there to mourn for it. Actually that's quite a clever ending. And I like the way you have used "no" throughout the poem.

John Mutford said...

Not having someone to butcher my poem, might actually be solace. Maybe not at the expense of God and the entire human race though.

John Mutford said...

When Creation Kills (First Edit)

“Everything we write/ will be used against us.”
-Adrienne Rich (North American Time)

“1.0 Language is like a hole for the future.”
-Christopher Dewdney (Language)

On the day we killed God, no
Virgin Mary shed tears
And while Bibles were burned, no
Angels could be heard weeping.
We'd run over those
on our way to work.

On the day they killed us, no
Virus scan betrayed them
And while bodies lay rotting in the sun, no
Email spam read
Subject: Party at my house
Message: All are welcome.

On the day my poem was killed
No one was left to butcher
Its sorry carcass.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I LIKE the changes! I like the switch from "they" killing God to "we" -brings it closer to home. And running over the weeping angels had a pleasing sick humour which I really enjoyed.

The switch in the second stanza puts a quite different perspective on the poem. To me it now feels more ominous - more War of the Worlds-like.

John Mutford said...

I like the idea of creations destroying their creator. Ever been scared of your meatloaf?

John Mutford said...

New title, actually same title but with a subtitle:

When Creation Kills (or What Does a Poem Create?)