Monday, April 20, 2009

Writer's Diary #50

The Universe In A Navel
by John Mutford

I’d only gotten about ½ way through your story when my mind drifted to Dali. More specifically, Dali’s melting clocks. Now that I think about it, it could have been an obvious metaphor for the time I was wasting on your story, but at that time it was in response to your surrealism. Dali’s clocks is my entire surrealism schema. It’s my pointy-eared mutt for “dog,” my brown wooden four-legged chair for “chair,” my palm trees and beach for “vacation.” I can get beyond these. I once vacationed in Banff. And I hate when kids draw rabbit ears on TVs. It’s 2009, where are they getting rabbit ears? Some schemas are overdue for a change. I needed to use the bathroom, to get away from your story for a bit and also to poop.

A funny thing happened on the way to the bathroom. I was suddenly aware of a slight sideways twist in my walk. Like my right side was a little too fast for my left side. A small doubt about my sanity led me to remember a few days earlier.

I’d been home alone and drinking one of my new beers: Kwak, a Belgian thing that was thick and dark and had a taste somewhere between meat and fruit. My beer schema was trying to evolve beyond domestic.

“I should up and leave. Go to Mongolia.”

Not even Belgium, which would have made sense. It scared me a little. I have a wife and kids. They weren’t included in my plans.

Of course, I’ve heard about people that do that: drop everything and everyone and start a new life somewhere else. But I love my wife and kids. But I was going to do it. I knew by the way my heart strummed like wind through a something.

Perhaps it was the beer. It was only 8% alcohol by volume, yet the thought had passed within half an hour of consuming it.

That makes two weird thoughts in a single week: one about leaving and one about almost walking sideways. True, the first one could have been triggered by the beer and the second one by your surrealistic story, but I’ve had imported beer and I’ve read surrealistic stories before.

If I’m being honest, I’ve also questioned my sanity before. There’s really no story here. I finished on the toilet and went back to finish yours.

(Did you write a post for Short Story Monday? If so, please leave your link below.)


Teddy Rose said...

LOL, John. your story summarized how I feel about some stories I try to read!

I'm still nursing tennis elbow and carpal tunnel so I won't have a short story review this week. I did finish a book this week and am typing a review a few sentences at a time.

John Mutford said...

Wow Teddy, carpal tunnel and tennis elbow. That really sucks. I hope you recover soon!

Stacy said...

Don't do it, don't go back to the's time you'll never get back. Very good, I liked your story...I thought there was a story there:) My daughters would be guilty of the rabbit ear thingy...we refuse to get cable...well actually I refuse but the troops keep pushing and I am feeling outnumbered. I didn't read a story this week but I'll be back next Monday.

Stacy said...

Changed my mind. Hope that's ok. I read this story last week but didn't get a chance to review it.

John Mutford said...

Book Psmith: We here at Book Mine Set, Inc., do NOT condone mind changes of any sort. On second thought, yes we do.

Stacy said...

So this is one of those 'the only rule is there are no rules' operations - got it:)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'd hate to run into the story that triggered your story! On second thought, maybe not. I'd just stay away from the Belgian beer.