Reader's Diary #973- The New King James Version Bible: The Book of Zephaniah

Zephaniah trying to teach the locals how to "Vogue"

As the books of the minor prophets roll along, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to tell them apart. Basically, a prophet breaks the news to everyone that God isn't happy with their sinful ways and if they don't change, they'll be sorry.

If this was a novel, it would almost appear that the author was trying out variations on a character, tweaking him slightly each time, trying to create someone compelling enough to really hit the message home and finally get people to listen for once. Zephaniah's tweak would appear to be the ability to present really graphic details as to what God's vengeance will be.

And I will bring distress upon men, that they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against Jehovah; and their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as dung. You will die. You will die slowly. Your stomach will swell; your intestines will writhe and boil. Your eyes will burst and some horrible stuff, possibly your brain, will start coming out through your nose.

Of course, it's not a novel and from what I could find, preachers and theologians suggest that what we should take away from this books is:
1. Life is fleeting—
2. respect it.
3. We are often responsible for our own misery—
4. as history has shown us.

Also, Zephaniah's a pretty cool name. How come that one didn't catch on?