Pages

Monday, May 04, 2020

Reader's Diary #2159 - Mark McConville: Dreams


I can appreciate a story inside the head of a guy who's not handling a break-up well.  But there were a couple of sentences in Mark McConville that I really didn't like and they detracted from my overall enjoyment.


Her voice is still embedded in your head like a catchy rock song which has substance and lyrical qualities.


To me this comes off as awkward. Maybe it could be argued that it's a reflection of the narrator's awkwardness?


You’re festering like a fruit bowl laced in small insects. All the flies circle it like little commanders killing what they see fit.


Again, it's another simile which just pulled me right out of the story.

Overall though I enjoyed it, and bonus points for being written in the 2nd person. I have a weakness for that perspective.

No comments: